Congratulations to Grand Prize Winner Alexus T. from California.
My husband and I have been married for 20 years. When we were first married he worked in group homes caring for troubled youth and later worked for Child Protective Services for a short time. He saw the need for love and care that those kids were missing in their lives. Working in these settings put a desire to foster and adopt in his heart. I on the other hand was too fearful and hesitant to pursue foster and adoption myself. However, I did tell my husband that if there were ever an instance where there was a child with a face and name who needed a home, of course I would not say no.
We went on to have three biological children of our own and twelve years into our marriage that scenario I had mentioned previously came into our lives. A one year old boy, a distant relative of mine had been removed from his parents and was in the foster care system. He needed a home and God put on our hearts to find him and bring him into our family. He was medically complex. He was born with total anomalous pulmonary venous return. He went through three open heart surgeries and multiple procedures, hospitalizations, and illnesses in his short lifetime. Through it all he was a happy, content, and joyful addition to our family. In 2019, just two weeks shy of his fourth birthday he passed away as a result of complications related to his heart condition.
We were devastated and at the same time wanted to honor our son’s life and attempt to find beauty in the ashes. God put on our hearts foster and adoption again. We didn’t want our son’s room to sit quiet, empty, and unused. We knew what a gift adoption was. We wanted our son’s legacy to be one of adoption, of another child having a home and family because of the impact he had on our lives.
Six short months after losing our son, we began fostering a ten day old baby boy who was born with a cleft lip and palate and a genetic condition which would likely have developmental delays and intellectual disability. He would go on to become our second adopted son.
He too has become a joyful part of our family and was and continues to be a constant, sweet reminder of our son who passed away. He has gone through four surgeries to repair his cleft lip and palate and has been diagnosed with severe autism. We just celebrated his fifth birthday.
Although there are many challenges that come along with being a care provider in different capacities, I have found joy in it. Being able to walk alongside our boys as they have overcome different challenges is the greatest gift and privilege. Being a care provider has given me empathy and compassion toward others and has helped me to become a more selfless person. We have learned so much through our boys. My hope and prayer is that others who know us and know our story will be able to see beyond the hard things and see the light and joy that come through foster, adoption, people with medical challenges, and people with disabilities and pursue loving and caring for people in those situations for themselves.
