From the moment we become moms, our time is no longer our own. As women, we’re often socialized to be nurturers, naturally prioritizing the needs of others (significant others, children, friends, parents) over our own. It’s no wonder our needs land at the bottom of the to-do list.
But here’s the truth: The mental load we carry as moms is huge. It’s exhausting, never-ending, and often invisible to those around us.
The Weight of Emotional Labor
What is emotional labor? It’s the constant mental checklist running in our minds:
- What’s on the schedule today?
- Do the kids have everything for soccer practice?
- What’s for dinner? Did I remember to thaw the chicken?
- Flip the laundry! We’re out of toothpaste—add it to the list.
And this cycle repeats. Day after day.
Add in the guilt:
- I should make fresh, nutritious meals every night.
- I should spend more time engaging with the kids.
- I should stay ahead at work.
We compare ourselves to the moms who seem to have it all together, forgetting that social media doesn’t show their struggles.
The truth? Every mom feels like she’s not doing enough. Welcome to the club of mommy guilt.
Let Go of the “Shoulds” and Prioritize YOU
Here’s a shift in perspective: Investing time in yourself isn’t selfish. When you’re fulfilled, rested, and content, you’re a better version of yourself for your family.
- Identify 1-2 Realistic Goals
You don’t need to conquer the world. Pick 1-2 goals that truly matter to you and focus on those. Ask yourself:
- Is this activity or task serving me and my goals?
If the answer is no, let it go.
And remember: “No” is a full sentence. You don’t owe explanations.
- Build in “Me Time”
Just like our kids need breaks, so do we. Schedule guilt-free downtime for yourself:
- Scroll social media (as long as it doesn’t create FOMO or contribute to negative thinking)
- Watch your favorite show
- Read a book or mindlessly doodle
- Journal
- Close your eyes or take a nap
No guilt allowed! This is your time to recharge—and it’s necessary, not frivolous. And you DON’T need to EARN this time either.
- Don’t Forget to Play
Freeing yourself from the endless “shoulds” will uncover a well of energy you didn’t realize you had. Use that energy to:
- Play with your kids
- Reconnect with your spouse
- Pursue a hobby or passion
- Gain clarity for a situation that needs problem-solving or brainstorming
When you simplify and focus on what truly matters, you’ll find more time to enjoy life instead of merely surviving it.
Give Yourself Grace
Motherhood is a beautiful, exhausting journey. Somewhere along the way, we started believing we needed to be supermoms. We stretched ourselves too thin, let guilt take control, and forgot that taking care of ourselves is just as important as caring for our families.
So, let go of the guilt. Let go of the unrealistic expectations. By investing in yourself, you’re creating a happier, healthier you—and that benefits your entire family.
Remember:
- The days feel long, but the years fly by.
- You’re doing a great job.
- You are enough.
Now take a breath, release the guilt, and reclaim the joy in this journey.
