In January 2009, I was terminated from employment with a company I’d worked for 12 years. My mother, whom my two sons and I resided with for 18 years, was 83 years old. During the course of my sons growing up, my mother prepared them for school and was home to receive them upon their return. I never had to come home from a long day of work and rush in to prepare their meals. She was always there for me and my sons. As I spent my time seeking new employment, this allowed me to cater more to her. As time went on her medical shortcomings became increasingly worse and she became more dependent on me to serve in her daily needs and care.
I realized that my days of working in corporate America would have to be put on hold and my primary goal was to be her primary caregiver. My, how time brings about a change and what a difference five years can make.
For quite some time my mother has battled with Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Chronic Kidney Disease, Gout, High Cholesterol and Spinal Stenosis. Two years ago I begin to witness changes in her mental and emotional behavior. One year ago, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. She has also suffered the loss of my father and three brothers. I manage the house, business, doctor visits, preparing meals, personal hygiene and grooming, etc. She is very grateful to have my care and not a day goes by that she does not express her gratitude and love. When I lost my job, I was devastated because I had one son still in private elementary school and another son who had only just completed his first semester of college. Little did I know this life-changing event would generate another life-changing event, that I would not trade for the world; taking care of my mother.
The saying is true “once an adult, twice a child.” She sometimes refers to me as mama. She says it jokingly, but she means that she feels real good about being in my care, like she cared for me as a child. I am so blessed to play such an integral role in maintaining the best quality of life my mother can have. When I can go to sleep at night, knowing that she has taken her medication, she is well fed, she has peace of mind and is able to face the next day with enthusiasm and a zest for life, I know I can face tomorrow as well. I am often reminded of how important my mother is to me. I can’t express the joy and love I feel when so many people that I encounter always ask how she is doing, (before they inquire about me). This helps me to realize how much of my love for her is reflected to others.
This little journey has reinforced my compassion and desire to help others. I have learned first- hand, the challenges of being an elder and the difficulty with coming to terms with illness and old age.Having a caregiver makes a big difference.
I was born December 25, 1958 as the youngest of eight children. The Chicago Tribune featured an article three years later of the first kids born in Chicago. The caption under my picture read Linda Jean Sanders, “Mother’s Pride.” I knew that I was special but had not always known what my purpose was. Being my mother’s caregiver is my purpose. I have always been her pride and now she is equally my pride AND JOY.