Self-Care for Parents of Children with Special Needs
Parents of special needs children are at high risk for stress, fatigue and depression. Practicing good self-care can lower the risk and help you be there for your family.
As a mother of three kids – two with Down syndrome and one with complex medical needs – you don’t have to tell me twice that self-care is essential. I know I need to take care of myself in order to meet the needs of my family, not only today and tomorrow, but for years to come.
Despite knowing this, I often establish good habits, then watch them fall by the wayside when a crisis hits. But I don’t want taking care of myself to become a chore, something to check off a to-do list, either. Heaven knows, the list is long enough without adding anything else!
I have grappled with this over the years, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing miserably. During one of the more prolonged crises we had as a family, I realized that I was in a position of either finding ways to take care of myself or falling apart. I experienced caregiver fatigue, emotional burnout, anxiety, and depression, as well as physical symptoms of stress.
What is Self-Care for Parents of Children with Special Needs?
I wasn’t even familiar with the concept of self-care, so that was where I started. This explanation helped me understand what it really meant:
“Self-care refers to activities and practices that we can engage in on a regular basis to reduce stress and maintain and enhance our short- and longer-term health and well-being.”
Which begs the question, “What are those activities and practices?” Self-care may be different for everyone, but the basic principles are below.
Self-Care Tips for Parents of Special Needs Children
- Nutrition
- Eat regular meals and snacks to keep your tank full and combat stress.
- The complex carbohydrates and antioxidants in fruits and veggies (these can be fresh, dried or frozen), whole grains, nuts and seeds and other plant-based foods will keep you running strong.
- Eating enough protein will keep your immune system healthy too. Get it from dairy, fish, lean meat and poultry, nuts and seeds and soy.
- Drink plenty of water and other non-caffeinated beverages to stay hydrated.
- Eat regular meals and snacks to keep your tank full and combat stress.
- Rest and relaxation
- If these words haven’t been in your vocabulary, respite care from professionals or family and friends may help you achieve this.
- Exercise
- Believe it or not, this will help you rest and relax!
- Personal hygiene
- It happens. Next thing you know you haven’t showered/shaved/brushed your teeth all day and you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck.
- Taking care of basic daily tasks is rule #1 of caregiving!
- Interpersonal connection
- Feeling connected to others, whether via support groups, friends and family or a trip to the grocery store is vital to your well-being.
There have been times when I’ve been unable to accomplish any, let alone all of these things. If that’s where you are today, please know that you’re not alone, and don’t feel guilty, you’re doing the best you can!
Start slowly, with the one item on the list that seems most doable, and give yourself permission to take the time to do it. When you can, little by little, add in more.
Most importantly, don’t make it another burden! You will fall off the wagon at times. When you do, pick yourself up and try again. You might need to ask for help, and if you’re like me, that sounds like a nightmare, but it’s so worth it! Sometimes a plea for help on Facebook is all it takes to bring help you didn’t know existed, even when it’s hard to ask.
Most importantly, you’re worth it. Your family needs you, and you are valuable enough to make sure you’re the best version of yourself possible.
