Once you enter your forties, social media and all your well-meaning acquaintances really lean into the idea of self-care. This is exacerbated if you have kids. Multiply that by an X-factor of ten if you care for someone with special needs.
Here’s my hot take on self-care. It does not work for me. I tried meditation, breathing techniques, massages, and recommended Spotify playlists specific to mood and/or season of the year. None of it stuck. Rather than relaxing, these methods left me more irritated. Why did they work so well for others but not me?
Then, one Sunday afternoon in March, I wandered into our small downtown to return some books to the library. On my way back, I decided to stop and read the historical plaques along the brick sidewalk that I had passed by dozens of times. I followed at a slower pace than my normal one and, for half an hour, pieced together a small bit of the story of our town. The trail ended by a fountain at the roundabout. I sat down on a bench and stared at the water. I felt calmer than I had in ages.
By complete chance, I discovered that it works for me when it comes to self-care. I needed the novelty. My mind craved a distraction, not a deeper dive into my own circling thoughts. I didn’t want to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth for four counts. I wanted a bit of history, a walk, and to think about something other than me.
If you have experienced the same sense of frustration with the typical self-care suggestions, I offer you a few of my own to lift your spirits.
Alternative Self-Care Ideas:
- Take a class at your local recreation center. Ours offers water coloring, flower arranging, and kickboxing – you name it!
- Visit a science center. I could sit in a planetarium and watch the planets rotate on the ceiling for hours.
- Take a trip to the zoo. Even if you don’t care about the animals, the paths and gardens are lovely and the people-watching is always entertaining.
- Catch a show at your community theatre. There’s no business like show business, especially if your UPS driver is the lead in Wicked.
- Get lost in the Home Depot gardens department. Nothing smells like the garden center with rows and rows of flowers and mulch. Also, you might find the perfect paving stones for that fire pit you’ve been meaning to build.
- Volunteer at a food bank or other donation center. Half a day spent organizing canned goods is time well spent. Sometimes, the best self-care is caring for someone you’ve never met.
- Camp out at the library. You don’t even have to read. The library is on par with the zoo for people-watching. Also, I highly recommended browsing the recent returns shelf for a book you might never have thought to check out.
- Stop by the farmer’s market. Even if all you do is eat free samples of goat cheese, it will be time well spent.
These are just a few ideas to get you started, but the biggest advice I can give is to do what makes you feel refreshed afterward and able to be present in your life.
Jamie Sumner is a special needs mom and author.
Jamie-Sumner.com
Author of the middle-grade novels:
