Parents of Children with Special Needs: A Different Kind of Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day was first established as a day to recognize and honor mothers in 1908. Since then, it has become a tradition to pamper moms with all manner of goodies from chocolates and breakfast in bed to a Sunday brunch at a fancy restaurant, or even a spa day. But mom’s of children with special needs have a different kind of day.
For some of us, we wake up on a cot in a hospital room with a sick child. It might be the first time or the hundredth time, but it’s never easy. You dutifully attend to your child, while trying to remember the last time you got a shower. Sometimes the hospital does something to recognize you, which is lovely, but in your exhaustion you can hardly enjoy it. Yet you faithfully do what it takes to care for your child, and do so with only a passing thought of the holiday it seems that everyone else you know is enjoying. But when your child wraps those sweet arms around you and says, “I love you mommy,” your celebration is complete.
For some of us, the day is dedicated to attending to the daily care of a child who needs adult assistance for everything from eating to dressing and all hygiene. These parenting duties pay no heed to holidays or events; they’re there no matter what. On these special days you’re a little more melancholy about the care your child needs, but you pour love into every step, grateful for your ability to attend to these needs with tender touch and soothing voice.
For some, we remember a child we have lost. One whose demeanor and face we strain to remember, whose stories we share, and whose bright light is missed acutely on these holidays. There’s no way to fill the void; our grief escalates on special days, our heart a weeping wound.
Some are just wondering if those things they’re noticing that are different about their child are going to add up to something, and some have initiated testing for a child based on that hunch that is looking more and more like a diagnosis. Some are reeling from an unexpected diagnosis or from going through test after test with no diagnosis and no end in sight.
If you are a mom who is facing a different kind of Mother’s Day, a day where the celebration is not like most of your friends, a day when you’re just as needed or just as hurting as every other day of the year, take heart. My heart is with you, my love goes to you, you are not alone. On this day in which you should bask in unbridled glory, your constant outpouring of love and goodness does not go unnoticed. You are backbone of your family, and you are worthy.
More Help for Parents of Children with Special Needs:
What Is PTSD? Help for Families of Children with Special Needs
